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The term "spoiled child" is often thrown around, but what does it really mean? According to Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, Psy.D., LPC, a Texas-based supervisor with Thriveworks, "'Spoiled,' as in a 'spoiled child,' can be defined as characteristics of excessive self-centered and immature behaviors due to a lack of age-appropriate boundaries being set by parents." Although parents generally don’t intend to "spoil" a child, certain parenting strategies—often born from well-meaning intentions or a reflection of how they were raised—can lead to this outcome. The consequences are far-reaching, with specific traits often carrying over into adulthood, impacting both workplace dynamics and personal relationships.
What 'Spoiling a Child' Entails (and Doesn't)
Parenting styles have significantly evolved over the years. Today, "punishments" like timeouts have fallen out of favor, while approaches that help children work through their feelings are more popular. This shift, however, has led to some misconceptions about what it means to spoil a child. Dr. Melissa Klosk, Psy.D., a psychologist at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center, emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between authoritative and permissive parenting.
“Validation involves verbally and nonverbally communicating to a child that you are listening to them, you respect them, you are taking their feelings seriously, but it does not mean that you agree with their opinion or viewpoint or that they will get what they want,” says Dr. Klosk.
In contrast, permissive parenting often results in "spoiled" children. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., an NYC-based neuropsychologist, explains, “This parenting style often involves giving in to the child's every desire without teaching them the necessary skills to handle disappointment or delay gratification.”
16 Traits in Adults Who Were 'Spoiled' as Children
- Entitlement: Feel entitled and expect things to always go their way.
- Dependency on others
- Selfishness: Often focus on what works best for them, with little regard for others.
- Lack of empathy
- Poor communication skills
- Inability to regulate emotions
- Impulsive decision-making
- Lack of self-discipline
- Intolerance of differences/conflict
- Demanding
- Struggles with authority
- Ignores the word "no"
- Difficulties sharing
- Limited resilience
- Anxious
- Loving: Despite the negative traits, they can also be very loving and warm.
Conclusion
The impact of permissive parenting and the lack of boundaries can extend far into adulthood, influencing various aspects of life. Adults who were spoiled as children often face challenges in personal relationships, the workplace, and their emotional well-being. However, through self-reflection, establishing clear boundaries, practicing gratitude, and seeking therapy, these individuals can learn to overcome these traits.
Supporting Link: For further details, please refer to Psychologists Share Traits of Spoiled Children in Adulthood.
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Source: parade