You might have been looking for a partner that would go well with your life and has the same drive as you do. In this process, you might have gotten advice from friends and family on how to find this person, but some of this advice might not have been as helpful as it seemed. Instead of focusing on the traits that might help establish a long-lasting relationship, the other people close to you might have been more focused on superficial traits like looks, socio-economic status, and how prestigious the other person's job was. So, what do you do if you would like to take a less superficial approach to dating? How do you initiate a process like this? Though everyone's opinion might be different on this topic, here are a few suggestions.
1. Look for someone with similar goals.
If your career is your main goal, then try finding someone that works in a similar field or someone that has just as much drive as you do in their career field. This might give both of you a better understanding of why you do the things that you do and help you bond over the barriers you overcome.
2. Find someone with similar beliefs.
You don't want to get into a relationship only to find out that the two of you have completely different ideas when it comes to your beliefs and morals. Therefore, it might be good to have that conversation before anything gets too serious. This will help the two of you bond over your similarities and hopefully eliminate some difficult conversations later.
3. Figure out if the person is family-focused.
Some people want children, while others don't. You may want to address this situation right up front, so both of you have a good idea on where your relationship might go. This may also help prevent future resentment as long as you both listen to each other and communicate about this subject in an honest way.
Instead of going after looks or status, you may be looking for a partner that shares a deeper bond with you and the way you see your future. If this is the case, try talking to potential dates about their goals and their beliefs. Figure out if the person is family-focused and do your best to communicate honestly instead of saying all of the right things to impress your date. This might help build a foundation in which a future can grow.