For many families, the grandparents take care of the kids on a regular basis. In some cases, they take care of their grandchildren more than anyone else.
Having one's own mother and father around to help out can be a huge help to any parent who is struggling to raise a child on their own. However, should grandparents raise their grandchildren?
This matter was brought to light in a recent article, in which a grandmother was quoted as being fed up with babysitting her grandchildren.
An anonymous woman from Indiana says that she and her husband are both retirees. Her husband is 66 years old, and she just turned 64 years old this past June 2022. She's been babysitting since she was 42 years old. She says that she loves her grandchildren, but enough is enough. Her husband feels they should help out because they are retired, but she does not agree.
Her husband and she have two grown daughters; the eldest has a total of three children, aged 9, 18, and 21. They helped raise the 21-year-old, which put a huge strain on their marriage due to her sometimes horrible behavior. Her husband has enabled her bad behavior and thinks she will come around some day. She also became pregnant at 16, and they are helping with that child as well—the great-grandchild. "Enough is enough," she said.
They've also brought up their grandson, who's been living with them since he was a young child. He recently completed high school and will be attending university this upcoming fall (2022). They have sacrificed their time, effort, and resources by watching children for free.
Their youngest daughter, who gave birth to her first child last year at the age of 35, has a beautiful daughter, and she feels they should babysit because they helped with their other daughters' children. She admitted that she was right, but that she was no longer young or full of energy and patience.
Neither of their daughters is married, nor do their partners bring anything to the table; losers as she puts it.
"I'm always irritated and angry, which is exacerbated by the fact that my husband feels it's our job as grandparents to help raise these kids. What should I do?" She said
A clinician with extensive experience in the areas of family and marriage, relationships, and stress issues, Kenneth E. Fowler, said that she should let her daughters know what she is willing to do and allow them to adjust to the new boundaries. She must let them struggle. When they really need her help, then she can assist in a manner that works for her. She's not the person who decided to have these children, and she should not be the person expected to raise them, she added.
One user said, "Life is all about choices, and you better make sure you make the right ones because choices come with consequences, and you have to deal with them. Pretty much what these people said: It's common sense, and you need to use it with boundaries and limitations."
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