After a painful break-up, you cry, let the tears fall without a care.
At first, it's hard to identify why. All you know is it hurts. Your heart, mind, and soul are going through a painful transition from being in a relationship to being by yourself once again.
The fear of being alone - and lonely - creeps up. Shame comes up even if there's no reason to.
You cry about the past.
As you do, you recall everything you did together, the memories made, the trips you took, the loving words you said. You cry about the times you tried to lift each other out of the mud. You help one another and stay together through life's struggles.
You cry for the celebrations you spent together, the laughter that echoed in the room. You cry for the mistakes you made and the words you said in regret.
You cry when you listen to the songs you sent one another. You recall, in fondness and sadness, the first time you met his family with shaking hands and knees, eager to make a good impression.
You cry for the present.
The empty mornings and nights tell you he is no longer around. His heart and mind are now somewhere else with someone else.
You wake up in the morning to face another day without a hand to hold. Before you sleep at night, your thoughts fill with images of his kind face, his soft hands that held yours while crossing the street, the soothing voice you turn to in distress.
You long for the calls and messages you no longer get, the surprise dinner you no longer need to plan.
You cry about the future.
In just one day, decades you saw happening before your eyes vanished, without a proper goodbye. You cry for the birthdays you will no longer spend together, the children you will no longer bear, the home projects you will no longer plan for.
There will be no recounting of your son's birthday parties, his memories of school, or the teenage issues parents dread.
There’s no easy breakup. There is no easy way to go through one. Separation is an uprooting from the home you have always known. It's tearing yourself away from that missing piece you thought was THE missing piece.
There is a pain in turning away from whom you love and have given your whole life to.
But on the other side of pain are joy, freedom, and love.
There is the joy that never left you, the freedom to express and enjoy the present moment, the love that is pure and absolute and will stand by and with you all the days of your life.
At the right time, you experience a shift. The tipping scale moves in favor of the other side. The side where there is no more crying.
The shift happens when you've had the space, and time you needed. The tears stop falling, and as time passes, you learn why they fell from your eyes, and what they meant to you.
Life unfolds once again, teaching you, and helping you reach a deeper level of awareness about yourself and the world around you.
You figure out the puzzle, solve the mystery, and say, "Now I know." It comes with acceptance no deity has the power to change the past, and the past will stay as it is. Sometimes, it comes with an admission of what you could have done better but that doesn't matter now.
What matters now the most is yourself. You steer your life in a new direction and allow your purpose to guide the way.
Your tears have washed you clean.