A woman's Reddit thread has gone viral after she shared that she did not invite her adult sister, who has autism, to her wedding because she tries to kiss her husband.
The woman, who calls herself "Priyrpo," posted a lengthy explanation in the Reddit forum, aptly named, "Am I the A---hole?'
"My (22f) sister "Anna" (21) is "special need". She has severe autism and while she is verbal most of her communication is "physical" like sign language due to her social discomfort. She does speak around family though and has pretty bad cognitive skills. She can't comprehend boundaries and lives with our parents so they can best watch her," her explanation begins.
She shared that she would be tying the knot in three months... but due to Anna's social skills, she would not be inviting her to come.
"I sent out invites last week and I asked that Anna not come. I told my parents I understood that would mean they may not show up but it was just a heads up. Why no Anna? She has an issue with touching Michael and trying to kiss him," she continued. "At times when we were at my parents house Anna would try and grab Michael's hands, try to lean in to kiss him or would have a really bad shutdowns if she wasn't allowed to be directly next to him. We've tried speaking to her but there's only so much we can do when she doesn't really understand."
People with Autism Spectrum Disorder often have problems with social, emotional, and communication skills and might repeat certain behaviors and might not want change in their daily activities, per the CDC. Many people with ASD also have different ways of learning, paying attention, or reacting to things.
She says her parents were upset with her and called her "selfish," before asking the forum whether she was the "a---hole?"
The thread (three months later) has gathered so much feedback it has been locked by moderators.
They did allow one response from a Reddit user, explaining why she might indeed be an "a---hole."
"Anna is disabled and has no real idea what she's actually doing. It feels kind of like an ass move to punish her for something she really doesn't have much control over. And my parents are right. The chances of Anna getting married aren't that high, and she may never get to experience what I have so putting up with it for one more day shouldn't be an issue."
Some readers agreed with her stance:
Her parents decided to skip the wedding altogether:
Update: My parents called me letting me know they won't be coming and that it's best I don't bring Michael around anymore since I've "chosen some man over my sister". They told me that Anna wanting to kiss Michael and hug him is normal for a women her age and that she doesn't understand what her feelings mean. I suggested they try to redirect her during the wedding but they said Michael is gonna be family to her and he needs to "get over it". I suggested they watch the wedding via web and they said that's not fair and that they deserve to see things in person. I asked if I could pay for someone with proper credentials to watch her that day while they attention and they asked what I would do when they died and if I'd pawn her off every time. I dropped the unfortunate truth bomb that I don't want to put any more of my life aside for Anna anymore. I did it up until I turned 18. And that Anna is not my life's responsibility and I won't be her keeper. I assured them I'd pay for her care but if she's okay doing this to Michael then I worry for if I ever do choose to have children and what she'd do to them They said I was sick for suggesting she'd do anything to my future children and hung up on me. They sent a lengthy text telling me not to contact them until I could "do the right thing". So thts where we are right now.