by Amanda Jane Snyder
Enjoy Hot Girl Summer and be Taken Seriously in Summer 2021
Summer 2021 is HERE! Vaccines have been injected, weather is warming up, and after being cooped up all of 2020, most people have one thing on their minds. It's time for HGS (Hot Girl Summer).
Let's be honest, it's HARD to be a woman in this day and age.
We want to be taken seriously, we want equal pay, we want opportunity, and we want to be looked at far beyond our appearance.
We ALSO want romance, love, and family. Maybe we even want to be taken out to dinner, told we're beautiful, or have a man hold the door open for us
It can feel like a hard line to balance. How can we be both?
If I'm being honest, I still struggle to not base my worth on my appearance. It feels good to be told I'm pretty, but also, F you stop only recognizing me for my looks. I am an independent, Bad A** woman! And although over the last several years I've been doing everything on my own, running a business, and loving myself inside and out with the help of therapy, and self help books, sometimes I STILL feel unworthy if a man doesn't reconize me for how pretty I am.
Say what?!
When for your whole life:
- You’re mostly complimented for your looks
- You've worked in industries that value beauty, and thinness
- Engagement on social media is higher in appearance oriented posts
- Men accuse you of flirting when you’re just being yourself
- Romantic relationships always stem from attraction
- The media praises the “ideal body", values thinness and demonizes fat
- The media mostly shows us one type of body: thin, able bodied, white
When this is the world we live in, it’s no wonder it’s so hard for us women to not base our worth on looks. This mindset runs deep.
And although I get annoyed and ask people to see me beyond my physical appearance, part of me still feels unworthy if praise for appearance isn’t there. Oof.
But my experience is based in thin or attractive privilege. (Yes, it’s a thing.)
What about the experience of those who don’t fit society’s arbitrary standard of beauty?
Even as I sit here day in and day out and preach about self love and health at every size and representation for all body types, I still get clients who want to lose weight or fit an image. Because ultimately we all want to be desired right? We all want to feel desired, chosen, and apart of a community. And we THINK that fitting this ideal body image will MAKE us feel included and welcome and loved and happy.
And that’s okay. Yes, I said it. It’s okay to want to lose weight. That’s your choice and no one else’s. It's okay to want to feel desired. It's okay to want to feel loved. It's okay to want to feel welcomed and apart of something.
It takes time to sort through these deeply embedded body image ideals to figure out that perfect balance of health, feeling confident in our skin, and making choices that aren’t informed solely by the media.
Ultimately, we all want to love and be loved.
So rock it girl in your business, at work, in your 9-5. Be independent! Get that money, honey! And then get out there in your cute heels with those freshly painted nails, in that mini skirt and take a million pictures and accept the compliments. You deserve them girl!
You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of that simply by being you.
Amanda Jane Snyder is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, Corrective Exercise Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, and Mindset Coach living in Brooklyn, NY. She has been vegan for 4 years. She specializes in Strength and Conditioning for Actors, Singers and Dancers.