Are you self-sufficient, or do you always want more? There are two basic types of people in the world. At the extremes, some want or need more from many different sources, while others want little or nothing from anything or anyone. Is it best to be one way or the other? Or is it better to be some combination of the two, depending on what "it" is? As with most things, it depends. Let's take a closer look at the extremes and what lies between them.
Those who want more
Is there anything in your life of which you can't seem to get enough? Everyone has something for which they hunger or thirst. For example, it can be a certain food, clothes, shoes, tools, books, instruments, cars, and practically anything else you can name. When is enough, enough, unless you so overindulge it makes you ill?
To hunger or thirst for something is another way to say you desire it. The desire can be so overwhelming for some it can interfere with their life in an unhealthy way.
These unhealthy desires are wants and not needs. You need air to breathe, some amount of water and food to live, and shelter to keep you from the elements. Needs and wants are very different things. A need is something you must have to live and thrive, where a want is something you can do without, but may be nice to have.
For more information about wants and needs, check out this short article: How to Tell a Want from a Need in Your Life
Although you can do without most wants, some things you want are good for you. How can you not want something that affects who you are in a positive way?
An example of such a want is learning. Some of us enjoy learning and have an innate desire to learn. Others enjoy sports and doing healthy things like running, biking, or swimming. Personally, I love photography, but it can be a costly hobby if I let it get out of control.
Remember, too much of anything can do more harm than good. This can include learning, exercise, hobbies, relationships, and other such "good" things. It's best to follow the advice of Hesiod, the ancient Greek poet:
"Moderation is best in all things." Hesiod (c. 700 BC)
There is danger and an unhealthiness if we want or desire something by an unreasonable or extreme amount. Common sense dictates it is best to strive for moderation in all areas and things in our life, as Hesiod suggests.
Those who can do without
Some people appear to want little or nothing or seem to have a natural ability to practice delayed gratification. Have they learned something, or is it just who they are? The answer is likely yes! It can be either or both.
Self-control is needed to restrain yourself from things like impulse buying and the many challenges those who always want more face. When you can control your desires, you have great power in life, so long as you use it properly.
At the extreme of desiring nothing or overusing self-control, you could become like the fictional character Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol! Overcontrol can be a serious issue for some, and to be as controlling as Scrooge is unhealthy. Fortunately, Scrooge changed his ways, and so can you.
While self-control and delayed gratification can lead to good things in your life, be careful not to overdo it. You want to enjoy life, don't you? Moderation applies to those who want too little as much as to those who want too much.
The middle ground
There is a better way to look at this discussion than by only examining what you desire or do not desire while exercising moderation. When you begin to look behind these desires, you can find real substance. What drives the desire to want more or not want anything is who you are on the inside.
The best way to understand this was said many years ago by the German poet, novelist, scientist, and statesman von Goethe:
"He who is plenteously provided for from within needs but little from without." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
It is what is in us that drives us to allow our lack of discipline and self-control to desire more or to desire nothing. Notice von Goethe infers when we are satisfied on the inside, it can create such good we will need little else. He is not saying we will not want anything at all. He is simply saying we will want less externally when we are satisfied internally.
If you see either of the two extremes in how you live your life, let me pose a couple of questions to get you started on the path toward inner exploration to become better provided for within.
In the case of wanting more:
"What internal need must I work on to tame this inner desire to want more, that I can become fulfilled inside and exercise self-control?"
In the case of wanting nothing, ask yourself:
"What internal need must I work on to moderate this desire to want nothing, so I can seek good things to help me live a fuller, more satisfying life?"
What other questions can you ask yourself to go deeper?
Final thoughts
Finding a healthy balance and moderation in all things can give you a better life. Remember, our outward behaviors and actions come from who we are on the inside. Understanding ourselves and developing healthy self-control can be good for the soul. It can lead to being happy and filled with joy inside, manifesting in your life on the outside.
The better off you are on the inside, the better off you will be on the outside. Or put another way, happy inside, happy outside. Work on who you are inside, and you will undoubtedly lead a more fulfilled life. Now that sounds like something to aim for in life!