The ability to convince someone can improve numerous aspects of your life, from business to personal and even politics. Most people don’t fully realize it, but this skill alone can change your whole life in a matter of seconds. My objective in this story isn’t just to enable you to get others to do something for you or to influence their behaviors, but to think differently and broadly. Dale Carnegie’s teachings are being taught everywhere, from business schools to entrepreneurial workshops and even spiritual retreats.
Warren Buffet was once asked about what was his greatest investment in life. His answer? How To Win Friends and Influence People, a book by Carnegie.
Genuine influence encourages better human connection, bartering, and correspondence. I’ve generally been interested in the way political, business, strict pioneers, and other compelling figures can convince such a large number of individuals to follow them. I have implemented the craft and practice of influencing people for a considerable length of time and have coordinated it in my day-to-day life.
What you’re about to read are 10 science-backed ways that can work anytime and anywhere. What I love about them is that they are simple but actionable ways that can yield results in just 5 seconds! So, Let’s get it going!
1. Mirror The Person’s Body Language
To be a master in people, first, you have to understand how to mirror the other person’s body language. If I’m gonna sum it up in one sentence, mirror their body language builds a quick, warm rapport between you and the other person. It makes him/her/them feel assured or related or familiar to you. This is a good starter if you are at a networking event or a Tinder date.
According to psychologia.co on body language,
Mirroring body language is a non-verbal way to say, ‘I am like you, I feel the same’. The synchronicity of the crowd at the rock concerts and parades gives a secure feeling of belonging to each participant.
2. Show Absolute Interest
If you expect people to show interest to you, first you need to show interest to them and it’s always a two-way street. Most times, people just speak about their interests without realizing that the other person isn’t interested on what they're about to say, at all. How can you expect other people to show interest to you if you first don’t show any interest to them? EXACTLY.
The way you show interest is by talking to their own interests. Does she like Michelle Obama? Then, speak about Michelle Obama. If you talk only about your interests, the other person probably won’t care! It’s as simple as that.
Your objective is to listen intently to what they want and need. In the event that you figure out how to converse with individuals about what they need, and how you can satisfy those requirements, you will have their complete approval and consideration!
3. Nod While Listening To Other Person
Simple trick Nodding makes the other person feel validated. It gives them a feeling of certainty, joy, and confidence. Just don’t do it too much, or you will look like you have a head problem.
Ex. Nod when they’re telling you about how they like a particular tv character or athlete. Nodding makes them feel that you are into them. It makes them feel special.
4. Do Them A Favor
Reciprocity. Individuals have developed, endured, and prospered as animal types by helping each other. People built up the impulse to abet one another so that we’d have some assistance when we required it. So on the off chance that I help my closest companion out, he will feel constrained to restore that favor. The genuine virtuoso, notwithstanding, originates from utilizing the intensity of correspondence to get a significantly greater kindness in return. For model, in business, there are a lot of individuals I could connect with who wouldn’t react on the grounds that they are excessively occupied or persuasive to give me the hour of the day.
Doing someone a favor creates a future obligation or urge to do favor to you as well.
5. Compliment, Sincerely
Who doesn’t appreciate a compliment? Nobody! Even when the compliments aren’t genuine as they sound, it still affects you in a way. Saying “Nice hair” to the barista at Starbucks can brighten his/her whole day. A small act of kindness makes a big difference in a person’s life.
Useful tip: Make sure to smile when you compliment someone positively. If you don’t then it will appear like you are being sarcastic or worse, you are negging.
When you compliment someone, it activates a particular stimulus on the target’s subconscious that enables them to think of you as a person that is great and that they want to associate with. Just don’t overdo or don’t do out of context, because it might end up sounding really awkward.
6. Tell A Truth
The “Truth giver”, so to speak. The highest guy in the room. Someone who appears to be credible and confiding. Be that ONE. Few people can give the truth, due to the fact that it might be sound hurtful when expressed or might offend someone, but the truth sets you free as the old saying goes. The truth liberates you from constraints around your neck. One who gives the truth attracts genuine people. One who seeks the truth finds a strong and able person willing to give it. If you give it, they will follow you.
Don’t hide behind the truth, be the one exposing it.
7. Build A Rapport
Everyone naturally likes people who are similar to them. When you discover a shared point of interest, background, or connection with somebody, you relate to them and like them a little more. In fact, science has demonstrated that we all have a subconscious desire to bond and reflect those around us. Humans have a neuro-linguistic instinct called matching and mirroring, where we develop patterns in how we talk, speak, and hold ourselves based on those around us. In fact, when you’re having a one-on-one conversation with somebody, you naturally match their speech and body language to some degree.
Focusing on improving this ability builds a subconscious rapport with the person you’re interacting with. They see a bit of themselves in you and instantly feel more at ease. In this state, they are more likely to be persuaded and influenced.
8. Tell A Secret
What else characterizes solid affinity with another person? It isn’t just a two-route road of responsiveness. That incompatibility will likewise share a feeling of trust. There will be a feeling of understanding too. They will feel good in discussions. At the point when you’re in affinity with somebody, you’ll see that they open up to you rapidly.
Telling a secret gives people a sense of trust and loyalty. It doesn’t have to be a real secret, you can fabricate one to achieve your goal.
Tip: When you tell a secret, make sure to tell them by whispering it on their ear. It works better!
9. Communicate Clearly and Simply
The best case of conveying unmistakably is Ronald Reagan. I used to watch his discourses, and my mom instructed me to give close consideration to the manner in which he talked. He had a present for addressing the majority since he talked in extremely clear and straightforward terms and this gathered trust. Keep in mind, on the off chance that you can’t clarify your thought or idea to a fifth grader and have that fifth-grader transfer the plan to their companions plainly, you’re clarifying it too intricately.
10. Be Charismatic By Showing Certainty
If there’s one person that can explain charisma better than anyone I know, it’s Jason Capital. I’m inserting a piece from his book, High-Status, on Charisma Story on Steve Jobs.
When the first iPhone was being built, the original plan called for it to have a plastic screen like the iPod. But Steve Jobs wanted something more elegant than plastic. He wanted glass. Of course, it had to be strong glass that wouldn’t scratch or crack easily. He put the word out and eventually got connected with a CEO who supposedly had just the type of glass Jobs was looking for.
After a series of back-and-forth periods of phone tag, Jobs finally invited the CEO of Corning, Inc., out to Apple headquarters to meet with him. The CEO told Jobs about a new type of glass that had taken decades to develop, called Gorilla Glass. Up until that point, there had been no need or use for glass that strong. Jobs remained unconvinced, so he started to explain to the CEO how glass is made. As Jobs was drawing away on a whiteboard, the CEO started to get annoyed. Finally, he stood up and said, “Can you shut up for a second and just let me teach you some science?”
Jobs was taken aback. No one spoke to him that way. As he slumped back in his chair, the Corning CEO took his place at the whiteboard and began a lengthy tutorial on the chemistry behind glass. Once he finished, the first thing Jobs said was, “I want as much Gorilla Glass as you can possibly make in the next six months.”
“We don’t have the capacity for that,” the CEO replied. “None of our plants even make the glass right now.” Jobs didn’t panic. He didn’t get angry or discouraged. He simply replied, “Don’t be afraid. You can do this. Get your mind around it. You can do this.” Of course, the rest is history: the glass is produced, the iPhone explodes into a billion-dollar industry, and the way our species communicates is forever changed. But it never would have happened if Jobs hadn’t had high-status charisma.
According to Jason Capital,
What defines charisma? What is it? Ask twenty people and you’ll probably get twenty different answers. Allow me to simplify it. What creates charisma is a sense of certainty. Whether it’s a guy who’s the life of the party, a historical figure who led a revolution, a speaker onstage getting the crowd fired up, or the coach of a championship team, the common thread among all of them is a sense of certainty. They might not always be right, but they never hesitate. Other people feed on this. In a world full of drifting leaves, the charismatic man or woman is the wind.
If Jobs had hesitated at all during his interactions with Corning, Inc., it never would have happened. What if he had said, “Um, OK, what about nine months instead of six? Or is there another option? Maybe something similar to Gorilla Glass?”
Conclusion
Growing up I read a lot of Psychology-related books and my favorites include, “How to Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie and “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. These books practically changed my viewpoint and course in life. It would be mild to say that these books have been eye-opening to me than schooling itself. If I hadn’t read these books when I was younger, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So, I’d love to share the essential wisdom these books gave me, so maybe, you can benefit from it too and eventually, do better by seeking and using your potential in life. Thank you.
Citations:
Excerpt From: Jason Capital. “The New Science of SUCCESS and ACHIEVEMENT, High Status”
Excerpt From: Jason Nazar & Rochelle Bailis. “21 Simple Ways to Persuade People.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/21-simple-ways-to-persuade-people/id610950461
Excerpt From: Dale Carnegie. “How to Win Friends and Influence People”