If you're always thinking about 5 different things, this might help.
I've always had jobs that require high levels of multitasking.
I've waitressed and cooked, and currently, I run a home daycare.
All of which require master levels of mental juggling.
I don't know if these jobs caused my monkey mind or if I chose them because if it but last year, quietly sequestered in my home, I discovered I'm easily distracted.
It seems that years of constant multitasking have taken a toll on my ability to concentrate.
Writing seems to be the only thing I can do singlemindedly.
For everything else, I'm like a toddler in a pet store.
Does this happen to you?
You find yourself reading whole pages, then realizing that you have no clue what they said because a few words in, you start thinking about something else.
Luckily our brains are adaptable and malleable, and that gives me hope.
Science tells us we can change our brains if we try.
My challenge during lockdown has been to find ways to learn to reign in my wandering mind and find solutions that work.
So I'm listing the more annoying qualities of my distracted personality and what I've done to temper them.
Have a look at these problems, and if you can relate, you might want to see what I've done to get myself under control.
Here's when my mind wanders and what I do to manage it:
When reading: You're reading a book, and suddenly you realize you haven't retained a thing. You're miles away thinking about what you're going to make for dinner or getting the idea for a new project.
It's easy for other thoughts to creep in when you're reading, especially if you're studying something dry or if it gives you lots of inspiration.
Even though I love self-help books, I find them distracting because they give me ideas.
What I do: I take notes, either electronically or with good old-fashioned paper and pen.
I write down my thoughts as they come so I can go back to them later. Once I write something down can let it go.
If I don't write them down, my brain tries to hang onto them, so I won't forget.
After I write something down, I can refocus because the thought's been noted, so I can go back to it later.
Watching video courses or demos: I notice this, especially when it's a subject matter I'm unfamiliar with, something I don't understand or find tedious.
What I do: In this happens, I just go back over it as many times as necessary until the message sinks in. I know it sounds too simple, but this works for me.
Sometimes I make hand-written notes.
The act of getting the thought from my brain to the paper reinforces the idea.
It's important not to get frustrated with yourself.
Wasting time and energy on berating yourself distracts you from your goal. You probably need to finish the video for whatever it is you're trying to learn.
So just reel yourself in whenever you go mentally wandering off and rewind as many times as necessary.
If you try not to get too wound up about it, your mind should settle down faster, and you'll absorb the information better.
Look at it this way.
If you were trying to teach someone something difficult, you wouldn't get mad at them or pressure them.
You'd probably be kind and compassionate, so the more generous you are to yourself, the more relaxed and productive you'll be.
Give yourself a break, rewind, and regroup as often as necessary and work on getting better at catching yourself when you do it.
Look at it as a challenge. You're breaking old habits as you create new ones, and that's not easy.
During a conversation: Many of us do this. We aren't good listeners. We listen to someone else talk, but we're just waiting for our turn.
There are many reasons people do this, but the bottom line is it makes us distracted listeners.
What you can do about it: First, monitor yourself.
- Do you zone out halfway through a conversation?
- Do thoughts constantly pop into your head?
- Do you interrupt often?
If you're a distracted listener, you may have these habits and not even realize it.
If these things apply to you, try learning some active listening skills.
The principles of active listening are patient listening and reflecting back what the other person says.
Even if you only work on those two elements, you'll automatically become a better listener.
Another thing that can help is to simply tell yourself that it's okay if one of your thoughts slips by unspoken. Not getting to say something isn't going to kill you.
Start by practicing letting go and refocusing.
During downtime: You're having a nice quiet, peaceful moment, and suddenly your mind is full of random thoughts?
- Worries
- Obsessions
- Cravings
- Weird feelings
- Embarrassing things that happened to you ten years ago
- Something stupid you said last week
- Something mean you did when you were a kid
It's amazing how easily your subconscious can swoop in and ruin a lovely moment.
This is something I've struggled with. I used to wake up almost every night filled with existential dread.
I didn't realize what a problem it was until I started reading "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks.
The book deals with freeing yourself from putting an "upper limit" on your happiness to achieve more in life and have better relationships.
Part of "upper-limiting" yourself is the subconscious thoughts that sabotage your quiet moments.
It focuses on mindfulness — learning to acknowledge when you're sabotaging yourself with strategies to move forward.
This book gave me a few epiphanies. I realized the things that cause a lot of my distractions are obsessive thoughts that also sabotage my happiness.
One good way to lessen those distractions is to acknowledge them for what they are and let them go.
Now, in those moments, my mantra is "accept and release." I accept that I can't do anything about most of it, so I release the thoughts.
A wandering mind can be annoying and distracting.
It can undermine your goals and dreams.
But that wandering mind can be worked and tamed just like anything else.
Your brain is adaptable, so why not use that to your advantage and get your distractions under control.
You'll become a better listener, a better student, and a better friend to yourself if you do.