This story will leave you questioning your job forever.
“So I had a heart attack…” smacked me in the face as I scrolled social media
Lessons from "the almost dead” are more powerful than lessons from those who have already passed away. Why? You can send them an email and continue the conversation. You can’t email a person in a coffin.
Side note: A Lambo won’t fit in your future coffin.
I digress. A man named Jonathan Frostick who works for HSBC bank posted a photo of himself in the hospital on social media. The banker in me could relate. I devoured his post. He wrote like a man on a mission. The clarity of his thoughts were refreshing. 244,000 people gave him the thumbs up on social media (the equivalent of likes).
It started at 4 pm on a Sunday. Instead of relaxing he was planning for work the next day. All of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. He describes having surges in his left arm, neck, and feeling like his ears were popping. That’s a heart attack for those of you who haven’t had one. Ouch!
Jonathan says he didn’t see a holy flash of light or his life race through his mind. Nope. What he saw was work.
1. Damn I needed to meet with my manager tomorrow, this isn’t convenient
2. How do I secure the funding for X (work stuff)
3. Damn I haven’t updated my will
4. I hope my wife doesn’t find me dead
These are the thoughts of an almost dead man. Sad, really. Jonathan made his way to the bedroom and notified his wife of the real-time heart attack. I’m guessing she wasn’t thrilled. But you know, these things happen. The ambulance came. He got to the hospital. Thankfully, he’s okay.
But Jonathan came out the other side of a heart attack as a badass human. He has transformed into an I-don’t-give-a-damn way of life. As I am about to quit my corporate 9-5 job, I felt chills down my spine. You will too. These are Jonathan’s rules for living (with expanded insights).
Rule #1 — I’m not spending all day on zoom anymore
Most meetings could have been an email. That’s the harsh truth. Meetings are often for lonely executives who need to feel like they matter again. They’re insecure. The meeting brings them significance — a basic human need. The worst meetings involve creating PowerPoints. I’m a PowerPoint worker.
I don’t get why you need a Powerpoint to have a business conversation.
A Powerpoint is a rigid meeting structure. A PowerPoint is talking at people rather than two-way communication. When you talk at people they generally get upset and leave the meeting not taking the action you wanted.
When you have a calendar full of Zoom meetings you have no time to think. You end up getting trapped in the rat race. Silence is important for your career development. In tranquil silence you can do deep work — the real work.
Most meetings are a waste of time. How can 30 people on a Zoom call for 30 minutes possibly all get a chance to speak and make a decision? Really, you rarely can. Opt out of meeting life. Do less meetings, or simply don’t show up. People will assume you’re busy and move on.
Rule #2 — I’m restructuring my approach to work
Jonathan allowed his job to dominate his life. Everything revolved around his work. Not anymore. Life is too short to worry about what your work colleagues think of you. Or to obsess over whether the customer wants you to be their best buddy. Or to use a careful selection of words to make up the sentence of corporate jargon you’re about to use.
“Transformation…customer first … strategic approach … innovative solution.” It’s all a toss. Use simple english and you’ll communicate better than Jesus.
A better approach to work is to be yourself. Forget about being a Hollywood actor in a corporate stage show production, and show up like you would on the weekend. Formal doesn’t impress anybody.
Work schedules need a change too. Jonathan suggests setting a limit or else you’ll “top out” and have a heart attack like he did. I have set hard limits. I try not to look at my work phone on Saturday or Sunday.
One former boss said to me “you can’t really turn your phone off on the weekend. You need to be available.” This comment came after I missed a meeting on a Saturday evening at 9 pm. Our company had experienced a major cybersecurity breach. They had a briefing to gossip about it, even though our team had nothing to do with the solution and had no responsibility to fix it or take any action whatsoever.
I’m not giving up watching Lord of the Rings on a Saturday for a work meeting. You got to have your limits, you know what I’m saying?
Rule #3 — I’m really not going to be putting up with any nonsense at work ever again — life is literally too short
Clearly this rule shows Jonathan had to put up with a lot at work. It was the source of his stress. The internal battles were bigger than the marketplace battles to win a customer’s bank account that pays zero interest.
Why show up to work and put up with drama? Drama acts like a jackhammer making noise in your head. You can’t think. Your brain hurts. Life hurts. For what? Money that won’t make you happy and can be created out of thin air?
Solution: you can simply walk away from sh*t and tell people you’re not going to accept it.
Rule #4 — I’m losing 15kg
I don’t have a printout of Jonathan’s medical records. But this rule suggests he probably has some health problems. This photo he posted of all the pills he takes gives further clues.
Diet, exercise, eating plants and meditation can legitimately help you improve your life. If you don’t look after yourself then a heart attack or cancer is likely to make its way into your life.
I had a near-miss with cancer in 2015. I’ll never know the exact series of causes. But I can take a fairly accurate guess: Working too many hours, a poor diet full of fried foods, less than 8 hours sleep, no exercise, not enough water, no time to relax, zero vacation time. Getting healthy feels better. You already know how — all you need is a reason. In Jonathan’s case, a reason wasn’t enough. He needed a heart attack wake-up call. Don’t wait for a wake-up call.
Destress. Rest. Lose a few pounds if you need to.
Rule #5 — I want every day to count for something at work or else I’m changing my role
Grinding away at work that doesn’t have an impact is soul-crushing. You can solely get paid with money, or you can get paid with impact and money.
Making a difference is underrated. Humans secretly want to make a difference but we forget far too easily. We let work get in the way of why we do it. Jonathan taught me to be more ruthless with switching jobs when the impact from my work has died a silent death.
An easy way to make an impact: write online. It’ll change your life.
Rule #6 — I want to spend more time with my family
Jonathan overworked. He rarely saw his daughter. Now he doesn’t want to miss those moments anymore. You can’t cancel work meetings you’ve already had and relive your child’s life.
The wisdom of a child to wake you up
This is a conversation Jonathan had with his child, while trying to explain his sudden heart attack. Feel the pain.
Child: “Daddy, why is grandad driving me to school?”
Jonathan: “Well, daddy wasn’t very well and so the doctor said I need to rest. Daddy has just been very busy with things and so I’m a bit tired”.
Child: “I told you daddy, you are always busy”.
Jonathan: “I know darling. I’m going to get better and make changes.”
Did that wake you up? It woke me up and I don’t have kids.
Rule #7 is Missing …
I stalked Jonathan’s Instagram page. There is a rule he left out. I’m not sure he’s picked up on it yet.
Jonathan has a slight obsession with luxury goods. He believes a Hugo Boss watch will help him live like a boss. He shows off his BMW, Audi, and Mercedes Benz in various photos. He craves a new Tesla.
His friend Buffpants (that’s his real name) says it beautifully with this crisp statement summing up the problem:
What you doing? [BMW] M3s are so last year, it’s all about the 4 series now!
All this looking good for Instagram and friends is an expensive sport … sport. A new car every year is a luxury. The interest rate on the luxury car loan will slap you in the face if you work it out on a spreadsheet.
The forgotten rule that’s been left out is this: Stop buying dumb stuff.
When you’re dead, no one will remember what suit you wore, what your job title was, how much money you made, what house you lived in or what car you drove. All they will remember was who you were, what you stood for, and how you made them feel.
You pay for luxury with money you sacrifice your time for. Don’t forget that.
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like ― Dave Ramsey
These Decisions Lead to Life 2.0
Jonathan Frostick joined the “almost dead” club. Once you join the club you never look back. He calls it Life 2.0.
Life 2.0: walk into every situation and be yourself.
Seriously. Do this today. Dare to be you. Dare to be authentic. No filters, no bullsh*t, no games.
It’s liberating.
There’s no need to live like a dead person until you’re dead. What I’ve learned from almost dead people is that you don’t want to get to the last day of your life with a long list full of regrets.
If a heart attack or cancer hasn’t wiped you out yet, it’s not too late to change. Avoid having regrets to live life to the fullest. Tell the Karens to go away.