By Maria Asaad
Photo courtesy of Canva.
As cliché as it sounds, the key to a happy and successful relationship is effective and clear communication.
When it comes to communication, however, it’s easy to say it’s important, but what's vital is actually explaining how to improve communication between you and your partner. If we are never taught how to do this, then the door to healthy communication will never open.
We love feeling connected to the people we love. One of the best ways to feel that deep connection is through good communication.
There is nothing worse than feeling distant or disconnected from your partner due to poor communication skills.
Effective communication is all about expressing yourself in a healthy way and attentively listening to your partner to absorb what they are saying.
7 Tips to Improve Communication In Your Relationship
With that in mind, here are some of my best tips on how to improve communication in a relationship, and in turn improve the dynamics of your interactions and deepen your connection with one another.
1. Consistency is key
The number one rule of good communication is keeping it consistent.
Your partner wants to know and to be reassured you are present, through thick and thin.
It is just as important to keep that flow of communication going during the harder times and to check in even when there isn’t anything particularly specifically special to talk about. A simple “how’s your day going” keeps the lines of communication constantly (and importantly) flowing.
2. Don’t assume things
One of the biggest mistakes we make as humans is assuming things and creating imaginary scenarios due to our overthinking and wild imaginations.
Instead of assuming something from a certain look or tone, talk it out and let your partner know how you’re feeling. Being honest and open, instead of creating a make-believe story in your mind, can save a relationship.
3. Listen!
When it comes to communication it is just as important to be an active listener as it is to talk and express yourself. Communication is all about give and take. You can’t always be the talker without pausing and giving your partner the chance to say how they’re feeling too.
It’s important to be patient when listening and not jump straight onto the defensive.
Give your partner the chance and a safe space to express their feelings before responding.
4. Respond!
Now that you’ve given your partner the opportunity to talk and you’ve listened to what they have to say, make sure you don’t just leave it there. Give a calm and thoughtful response to what they have said.
Nothing kills healthy and effective communication in a relationship than leaving issues or discussions up in the air.
Make sure to respond to your partner’s needs so that they actually feel heard, understood, and cared for.
5. Ask open-ended questions
Communicating in a relationship isn’t just about discussing each other’s days and describing what you had for lunch. It’s about being able to dig deep and know the person you are with the best you can.
This may be more of a challenge for those that are not comfortable talking about their feelings. But don’t worry, as there are simple ways to get your other half to open up a bit more without them feeling pressured.
Asking open-ended questions gives them the opportunity to share as much or as little as they like, as opposed to ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions.
For example, asking “how was your day?” instead of asking “did you have a good day?” gives more room for open and fluid conversation.
You must also be mindful and respectful of emotional boundaries to not overstep a mark that may cause your partner to feel uncomfortable.
6. Pick up on nonverbal cues
Communication isn’t only about words. It's also about how we say them.
For example, if your partner says their day was fine but sounds annoyed or irritated, there must be something else they are feeling but not yet ready to communicate.
Our tone betrays a lot more than our words. Picking up on nonverbal cues is a critical skill.
Pay particular attention to your partner’s facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. After all, most communication is non-verbal, which means the words we use tell only part of the story.
7. Make time to talk to your partner
As time goes on in a relationship and you become increasingly comfortable with one another, it can be easy to fall into the trap of making less of an effort to effectively communicate. This can result in bickering due to not feeling heard or appreciated.
That’s why it is so important to set aside a special time for you and your partner to sit down and talk.
Whether it is over dinner or right before bed, set aside an hour to catch up and speak your minds in a safe, judgment-free space. This will allow you and your partner to feel heard and respected.
Final Thoughts
There are so many ways to improve communication in a relationship and there is no harm in trying as many techniques as you need to eventually find what works best.
Communication also takes practice and perseverance. It’s important to keep pushing yourself, and one another, especially during the tougher conversations.
And remember, effective communication is one of the pillars of a healthy and successful relationship. Investing in techniques to constantly improve it is well worth your time and energy.