When expecting to have a newborn, we may soon find that our emotions are all over the place. We’re happy. We’re scared. We may have become stressed, or we simply can’t wait – and, ultimately, we know that our lives are surely about to change in ways that we could never have expected.
Even if this isn’t our first rodeo, there’s no debating that a newborn affects one’s personality and may even affect the family dynamic in a major way. Not only are we bringing a new life into this world – one we will have to care for, love, teach, feed and clothe – but we are also getting a great opportunity to assess our current state of being and to find personal growth in our own lives, as well.
Some of the negative obstacles that may be triggered by the weaknesses of each personality type:
- Bad Time Management
- Resistance to the New Environment
- Distractions & the Inability to Concentrate
- Detail Overload
- Intolerance, Rage & Aggression
- Fear, Stress & Insecurity
- Overpromising Responsibilities
- Taking Things Too Seriously
- Not Taking Things Serious Enough
- Exhaustion & Depression
- Wearing One’s Self Too Thin
- Overanalyzing Situations
- Worrying Too Much
- Not Worrying Enough
- Shutting Down
- Shutting Out Our Loved Ones
- Not Accepting Help
- Being Over-Accommodating
- Putting-Off Other Priorities
- Shutting One’s Self off from the World
Our personalities dictate our actions.
Depending on your personality type, you may react differently to every situation. One day you might be fine – and the next day, pulling your hair out by the roots. Likewise, your personality will dictate your resilience in deciding how you will cope with your new lifestyle and your ability to persevere through those new obstacles which have entered your life.
A new baby brings joy into our lives. Their existence gets some people moving – and yet, there are some, who will shut down. Life coaching would depend on whether the person has an active personality type (this would be a more dominant leader or an easy-going influencer) or a more passive personality type (someone that keeps the peace and/or analyzes everything before making a final decision).
How we relate to certain situations will go back to what we experienced as children, (our private self), and our own experiences will become major factors in the decisions that we choose as adults and our instinctive reactions to stressful situations. Some parents may prefer letting the baby “cry it out,” while others hold them and rock them back to sleep. We become nurturers by nature, but we also become teachers in our homes.
The positive side.
It’s important to have a positive mental attitude, as your baby starts to become alert and absorb everything in his or her home environment. A baby will start to watch you, admire you and mimic everything you do. You may want to embrace this journey as a journey you get to experience together. Not only are you contributing to the eventual personality of another human being, but you can take this opportunity to learn your limitations and as a road towards self-improvement.
Assess your current lifestyle and find ways to evolve as an individual and the things that you tolerate. Being responsible for another person doesn’t automatically mean that you see the world with brand new eyes. However, many of your soft skills will learn to improve – empathy, being one of them, patience being another.
You’ll get to evolve your active listening, while trying to learn the non-verbal cues of what your baby is trying to communicate. You will learn what he or she needs with not one word being exchanged. Your problem-solving will transform and your intuition will be a saving grace.
Hey, it’s okay to overanalyze.
It’s your job to make sure that your baby is happy, healthy and thriving. In the beginning, he will depend on you to figure his every need. Yet to speak his first words, you will need to decide whether he’s hungry, needs to be burped or if he needs to be clean. It’s okay to worry, but just don’t freak yourself out – and don’t freak your partner out – sometimes you just need to breathe.
Stress. Stress. Stress… and, OH, communication.
Every time the baby cries – or becomes agitated with our inability to clearly read minds – stress becomes a direct factor that we just cannot escape. We get less sleep from the random late nights. Our fears for tomorrow breed worries for tonight.
This is our chance to learn our triggers and ways to combat stress in our daily lives. We learn how to deal with stress, cope with stress and eliminate it altogether. When we’re stressed, they’re stressed – and the cycle continues. If we avoid stress at all costs, it will eventually catch up. If we learn to avoid conflict, we have less chance of blowing up.
We need to learn to communicate – not only with our baby, not only with our partner, but also with other members of the family. We need to practice inclusion, we need to be tactfully upfront. When we learn to be more clear, effective and concise, we begin to find peace.
At a time people will randomly show up at your door, this is more important than ever.
This article is not meant to scare you but to shed light on the reality of being a new parent. Our motivations are different. Our experiences seem inadequate, and our hearts have begun to grow. I hope you can take the positive from this article and draw your own inspiration.
A few quick tips for new parents, based on personality type (Courtesy of Ms. Coleen Kulkin of PeopleKeys):
- For the dominant personality type: “You don’t have to be in control”
- For the influencer or community leader: “It’s okay to turn down that invite”
- For the parent, who bases life on strictly on stablity: “Give yourself some credit”
- For the compliance-driven parent: “Don’t obsess over it, let it go”
*Disclaimer: This article was written from the standpoint of the four DISC personality types (Dominance, Influence, Stability, Compliance), which are a scientifically proven method for personal and professional development. While this article provides spot-on advice, please keep in mind -- not everyone is built the same and, as women, often we aren't ourselves directly after giving birth, whether we aren't coping well with the new experiences, our hormones are out of whack or we're just evolving as an individual. While it is a proven methodology, if you have not met with a tenured coach, one-on-one, you may find you have a whole different experience than those mentioned above. If you aren't familiar with the four DISC personality types, it's highly recommended that you familiarize yourself with said subject matter. Their actually quite fascinating and can lead to lifechanging circumstances both at home and in business.